Stephie would be 43 today. We would be groaning about crows-feet and gray hairs. Stretch marks, muffin tops and bifocals. But WE are not. WE are not giggling about the loud talkers in the movie theatre, or all the farts that will be in the movie itself. She will not be having Teriyaki ANYTHING in any form she can get it. WE will not be sending proof of life selfies at the end of the evening to confirm we made it home safely. I will have to imagine and pretend that we did, and could have. Because I'm here. Still smiling, when I think of her. Sometimes bitter-sweetly. I have fun, and love and laugh and smile and hug and kiss and dream with all my might. For her. For me. For us.
Today, would have also been the birthday for another beautiful member of my cousin Jet's family. Our Family. But sadly that was not to be. Sometimes, words don't fill the gap. Just knowing how much we love.
As the old superstition goes, if you say "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit" on the first day of the month it will bring you luck.
Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.
Stephie, Stephie, Stephie.
Family, Family, Family.