Sunday, May 23, 2010
I keep waiting to miss him less, yet I don't. I miss him more, and then some more. I don't bother people with it anymore. He wasn't just a rabbit...not a cat, nor a dog, or even a child or an ex, as some have told me. He was mine. He loved me and I let myself just love him. I'm told to let it go. He was only an animal. I am only an animal. I loved this only animal more than I ever loved the man I shared a bed with and I know this rabbit loved me more than any human has ever loved me or ever will. I have a hole and I fear it cannot ever be filled. It---the love I gave him----can be twisted and tortured into loneliness, fear of abandonment, rejection...pick the emotional baggage du jour.....I was good at loving him. Different isn't always better. Different can be just different.