Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Redundacy of Dunces

A Facebook friend posted about 10 words that we are most likely misusing. We think we have a clear understanding of the definition, have been using them pretty much most of our lives, but when it comes down to their use in conversation we botch it. One of the words was redundant, which I have to say wasn't a problem for me and also was used in a most fantastic conversation with my Doc while I was having a little in office procedure. I had a little fatty tumor (lipoma) just below my right butt cheek above my right rear thigh that they wanted removed to check for any cancer. Needless to say, with my rear in the air and time to kill while My Doc numbed me up and removed the offending blob, conversation got interesting.

It started with a couple shots of lidocaine and then as he started to remove the tumor, he mentions how their might be a scar and how the area around the tumor was a bit redundant anyway.

Me: "Is that what you say? Oh, check out the redundancy on her? She's got a Redundant-dunk!"
Doc: Couldn't keep on with the procedure. He was laughing so hard I had to crane my head around to see if he was okay.

He had to give me more lidocaine because it wasn't enough, so I made another joke about being a cartoon character Numb Bum.

The definition of redundant is superfluous: no longer needed or wanted. I would say with the removal of that tumor, my Doc and I have a pretty good understanding of the word.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Smiling's my Favorite

I smile at everyone as I pass them.  If you smile back I might even say hello.   Particularly with elderly people, I have had some fantastic interactions.  Today at the University Hospital it was no exception. 

I am standing outside waiting for the valet to return my car and an elderly gentleman is sitting at a table waiting as well.  I greet him, and he asks how my day is.  I tell him how happy I am it isn't a hundred degrees anymore and smile so big my face hurts a little. 

We wait in silence a bit longer but when his vehicle arrives, he creeks out of his seat and hunches over to me in a two step shuffle.  He gets really close, puts his hand on my arm and while squeezing it tenderly he says to me "If I wasn't married I'd make your day so much better."

I clasp his hand in thanks as I laugh so loudly it echoed all the way up the mountain over Huntsman.  He did make my day so much better.  He did.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


When you first get "the cancer" you think some crazy thoughts.  Maybe they aren't particularly crazy, but what they can particularly be are persistent, blunt and not surprisingly morbid. 
One thing I ruminated about was being in control of the music I heard so I didn't have some terrible Air Supply or Reo Speedwagon song playing in the recesses of my brain as I left this earth.  Anything but that.  I even told my Mom what songs I would want played at my funeral. 

Today, I played one of my favorite mixed cds in the car and sang one of those proposed funeral songs over and over until my voice cracked. 

Modern Times

I love electricity, and running water. Indoor plumbing is the bomb. I dig on refrigeration and heat as well. Ovens rock. The internet can be pretty cool when it isn't being a dick. I respect the automobile (the drivers are another issue.) Television is either my best friend or my worst enemy, depending on the day. The printing press: not a bad idea. The stereo is my mode of exaltation and the telephone transports me to each and every one of my loves in mere seconds.

We get nostalgic for simpler times. I get nostalgic. Then I take a breath, look around and see the now I'm IN. I can make this time simpler just by simply being in it.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Red in the Face

What do you do when 3 buttfaced 12 year-olds are letting off firecrackers unsupervised (yeah, cuz THAT never happens here) in the parking lot, not once but twice, and the second time is a foot and a half behind your car?  You know, the car that is the replacement car from a neighbor's nephew doing something stupid to ruin it?  You take your overheated magenta puffy face out to the parking lot and say...

Me "Hey, you need to make sure you don't let off any fireworks close to any cars okay!?"

Buttface " Unh, we weren't."

He could have said, okay, sure, no problem or any number of things but that is what he chose to say to a woman that has been boiling for a week AND these weenies dropped sticky icky candy goo in front of MY door, stepped in it and now I have buttfaced candy shoe prints all over my doorway.  Sooooooo...

Me  "Are you seriously arguing with me?  REALLY?"

They scurried away so fast you would have thought I told them Christmas was cancelled.

As they harumph away I sternly say "Thank you."

I'm so polite.  Won't you be my neighbor?

The Bun

The Bun
If you don't like rabbits, you can suck it, shove it and then go soak your head.