Wednesday, November 19, 2014


On the phone talking to my Dad, we start in about The Walking Dead. We go on about our favorite characters and I ask if he was in a Zombie Apocalypse who would he rather be stuck with Darryl or Michonne? He says Michonne duh, cuz if you're stuck in a waste land who would you rather look at every day?

Next I say that if I was in the Zombie Apocalypse I'd never make it because I have no skills to bring to the table other than making pretty decent soup and having a vault of entertainment trivia for use around the fire. But he says I would be of great value, at least once. When the group pushes me down as a distraction for a Zombie herd to eat so everyone else gets away.

He's going to write to the show to suggest my part.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


When my brother and I shared a bathroom while growing up there weren't too many issues. He always put the seat down, he never used my hair products and I never used his (why would I blech) but he had complaints. About my hair. About my long hair getting tangled in his toes after I'd brush out my hair and it would get stuck to the carpet (remember 80's bathrooms with carpet.)

It would be early morning, before school and you would hear this "AGHHH HEIDI!!" I knew. I'd try to protest, feebly, but it never eased his disgust. I could have done a better job cleaning up after every time I brushed my hair, but I didn't. It was really only one of a handful of ways that I GOT TO DRIVE HIM MAD! So, I waited for it. And I loved it.

Today I combed my hair out before my shower and as I was cleaning the hair off my floor, I never missed my brother's stinky feet more.

Friday, November 14, 2014


Today was my six month check-up with Dr. Soisson at Huntsman.  Of course, my wonderful and supportive Mother was there.  I couldn't have done any of this without her.  The visit was hopeful, quick and pretty much painless.  I haven't been using my dialaters so he was teasing me by showing everyone how he had to use the tiniest speculum he had.  Of course there were students and residents in the room so they had to get my back story, check out my scars and radiation tattoos, talk about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and some of the new issues that go along with having EDS.

Most recently I dislocated my ribs on the left side and I'm just in ridiculous pain.   It was in full force today during my visit, with my left leg as well.  I told him about how my physical therapist has tried to gently put my ribs back into place but ever since then I've had (get ready for it) a buzzing butthole.  A Buzzhole.  So, apparently the song should go "The ribcage's connected to the butthole."  Needless to say, everyone was laughing and he doesn't feel it's connected to my cancer diagnosis.  He feels strongly that if my cancer would have come back it would already have done so.

As I'm at the check out desk waiting for my next appointment I made a joke to my Mom "Well, that was like the WHAM BAM, Thank you ma'am of pelvic exams."  The receptionist starts laughing so hard she starts crying.  We talk about what a great Doc he is and then I say "It's not really appropriate to say he gives great pap, but truth is he does."  She agrees and said you'd rather have people say that than complain.

Then, even after all of that, all the ridiculous amounts of pain I'm in, the grunts and squirming faces, the inappropriate talk and giggling, the receptionist comes back and looks me right in face and declared "You are just so pretty."  It took my breath away. My mouth hung open and then I started to cry. I thanked her and said what a kind thing to say, because for the past two weeks I have felt anything but pretty.

Now I'm home, in bunny hair covered sweats.  Maybe a little high.  But, I tell you all.  I feel beautiful.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Sun Day

Three years ago today I was having cancerous bits of myself cut out my body.

Today I was thoroughly enjoying a play at the Pioneer Theatre, once again my Mom and I being the loudest ones laughing. Today I celebrated World Vegan Day by filling my cart with vegan yumminess at Trader Joe's. Today I listened to stories from my Mother of her family traditions at Christmas and we smiled and laughed some more. Today I was grumpy, today I was sad, today I was silly, today I was grateful, today I was loud, today I was quiet. Today I was.

I don't get to pass stories of my own quirky traditions on to my own children. What I do get to do is share with my friends that are family and family that are friends.

I also get to see the sun set on the Mountains and think of Grandma Hollister. Today. And all the days.

The Bun

The Bun
If you don't like rabbits, you can suck it, shove it and then go soak your head.