Monday, December 30, 2013


I had my doctor repeat the news of my CT scan twice the first time he called.  Today, I had him repeat himself as well.  He said "I have good news, it isn't cancer."  The imaging on the MRI shows the "mass" to be fluid and not cancer.  He was so excited to wish me a belated Merry Christmas, he blurt that out then went on about my having a Fantastic New Year before I could wrap my head around what just happened.  I'm still amazed.  Shocked.  Stunned.  Even willing to admit there is part of me that doesn't believe it. 

These past ten days in such a tense emotional and physical posture, my relief is so great. 

My Mom and I went to see "Elf: The Musical" on Saturday and I got the joyous pleasure of hearing my Mother giggle.  Today, when I told her the news she said "You should be SINGING, this is such great news and you're SINGING!"

I'm singing.  Can you hear it?  I'm singing.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Garden of Delights

I went shopping at Rainbow Gardens with my Brudda tonight.  If you don't know this store, not only so sad for you, but it is a fantastic place for ornaments.  Well, while looking over their selection a seriously devoted crazy cat lady with a stocking cap and smelling of soup started to tell me how her cats wake her up in the middle of the night to play with the ornaments on her tree.  Then she pointed to the floor display of a dog house that had a sign hanging on it:  A multicolored MEOW.  She then says all sprightly, "I have a place for your husband to go.  The CAT HOUSE!"

So, while shopping with my brother for an ornament for his girlfriend, a bucked-tooth but well meaning crazy cat lady that smelled of bouillon, made a sex joke about my Brother-Husband going to a brothel.


Friday, December 20, 2013

The Future is Now

I've been just counting on my future being there. Thinking about other things than Cancer, and the trail of tears it leaves behind. Well, that changed with a phone call from my Radiation Oncologist today. Seems my last scan shows a 2 centimeter "mass" that needs further testing. This testing is at first an MRI, then possibly a biopsy that can only be done lapriscopicly. After that then a plan can take form. The MRI can't happen until the 27th with the holidays, so my future for now consists of doing my best to not catastrophize, then as my beautiful giving loving magnificent Mother happy for every single moment.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Some Answers

When I started this Blog I didn't really know what it was going to be.  Not really really.  It was born out of a need.  I needed a place to put all these questions and the internet seemed a mighty suitable container.  My posts started off as a mixture of prose, rants, poetry, political queries and then eventually evolved into everyday stories.  The format of my posting has evolved, but what has really changed is the core.  Me. 

I was really sad when I began Questions More Than Answers.  I had been thrown for a loop and was severely doubting choices I had made for most of my life.  I was figuring out how to trust myself again, how to be myself without someone looking over my shoulder and judging me every step of the way.  It took some time, but I got there.  I got the time, then I got diagnosed with Cancer and that was a whole new journey.  A whole new story.

I still wonder how this Blog will evolve.  I wonder the same about myself.  Every day is a new story to tell.  A new blog post to share.  What I so enjoy is not just sharing my story, but being a part of all yours as well.

Which reminds me…

The Bun

The Bun
If you don't like rabbits, you can suck it, shove it and then go soak your head.