Me whining to my Mom about my weight and I say the dreaded word Fat.
Mom - You're not fat.
Me - I'm not thin.
Mom - You're just right.
Me - So I'm porridge.
Mom - (laughing) No.
Me - I'm Baby Bear.
Mom - (laughs more) NO! (then sweetly and profoundly says the thing she thinks will solve all the things) You're Goldilocks.
Me - I'm an entitled white girl that breaks into people's homes and takes other people's stuff and eats their food.
We both laugh. Hard.
Finally...
Mom - You like things how you like them.
Mom - And you're not fat.
This is why we have Moms.
