Camel Toe City Sweetheart

 My Mom and I were doing self checkout at the Farmington Station Harmons when all of a sudden most of the high school kids came there for lunch. It was incredible.

Watching teenagers is a trip. The girl's styles, with their high waisted pants that are soooooo tight and up their hoo-has, blasting camel toes on full display is confounding. How is that comfortable? Hey, I'd like the pants that saw me in two, give me a rash, AND a yeast infection please! Hard pass.

Peering over all this from a GenX perspective I started to name groups, like a mashup of David Attenborough and a John Hughes movie: that one's a Molly Ringwald, those are the skaters, the sports, the nerds, and the full on goobers. 

During high school I remember being OBSESSED with not having camel toe. I mean, it was a prerogative in clothing decisions. (Yes, I'm back on that.) I am allllll for fashion recycling. We did it. I used to wear my Mom's 60s sweaters and skirts to school. But why couldn't they just bring back jelly shoes and parachute pants instead of this reiteration of the Mom Jean? SMDH. 

My Mom and I sat in the car resting and finishing our coffees for a while and watched the kids stream out. My Mom finally goes "ooop, caught some camel toe."

It was awesome.

Fart Jokes

I dreamt last night that I found out Dave Chappelle was having a meeting with industry bigwigs to decide comedy was going to be his way and only his way now. So I hired the whole gang from Leverage to stop it. (If you don't know anything about Leverage see my footnote.) Okay then, when we met up to plan strategy, they asked for my fighting skill and I told them one of them was going to have to hold Dave down so I could fart in his face. 

Soooooo, with my Ninja Farts on board we infiltrated the Super Secret Squirrel meeting and busted it up. I don't remember HOW it went down, only that it did. 

That's right. I saved the day. With a fart joke.

**Leverage is a TV show whose main theme is sticking it to the bad guy. They are comprised of a Hitter, a Grifter, a Thief, a Hacker, and traditionally a Mastermind. They find "leverage" on said bad guy and use it to their advantage to help the person that was wronged. Footnote to this footnote - as I explained this dream to my friends on their way to Drag Brunch and their having no idea about Leverage, when I detailed the lineup my friend added "oh and a construction worker, a cowboy, a Native American, a cop.."**

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 I had over 12,000 emails.

Again.

I think this emblematic of my enthusiasm and hope.

I have so much enthusiasm for new (and existing) interests and then hope I will follow through with them.

Only to ignore them for months on end.

Maybe to unsubscribe completely.

This has been your Daily Moment of Existentialism With Heidi.