Piece of Peace

During my sophomore year of college in my first class of the day, I would always sit down and get organized, then take my yummy lemon scented cuticle cream out of my bag and center myself, while moisturizing my cuticles. It was my little Moment of Zen before the day would begin. 

Half way through the semester (yes, this was back when there were semesters) the girl that generally sat behind me, finally got up the nerve to ask what I was doing every day. She found it soooooo curious and mysterious. She admitted how she waited for that moment every day, to just watch my little ritual. It calmed her. Made her day better.

My peace gave her peace. 

You never know the impact you can have. Just with a little bit of cuticle cream.

Don't Hand It To Me

Recently what I've discovered is that like Tony Stark, I too, do not enjoy having things just suddenly handed to me.

As the kids say, gives me the ick. 

I get in your car and then BAM you hand me something? Nah. I need time. You walk in my home and instantly hand me something? Nope. I'm not looking at it. It's going on the floor or the counter. 

I need time to understand WHY I'm being handed the thing I'm being handed.

I'm not expecting this to make sense. I don't even understand it. 

Did you ask for this information? No. 

I just handed it to you.

On Being a Shithead

Talking to my Mom, of course. Talking about life, expectations, how I mostly have only had my brain my whole life. She mentions that I'm clever and I say that I know how much more clever I could be. Her response had us laugh crying for fifteen minutes.

Mom - Well, you're not MENSA Shart.

Me - Wait, did you just say shart?

Mom - I don't know. Did I?

Me - You said shart. That could not have been more perfect.

We're both crying. 

Me - I need this on a shirt.

She's still crying.

Me - We could start our own club: The Sharts. (I start singing the melody to the Jet Song from West Side Story)

This is peak Mom conversation. 

First Fiction

My very first date with Preston was at the theatre to see "Pulp Fiction." He had been lobbying for this date in major ways. He made a sign that read "Will Work for Heidi" and stood on my road waiting for me to pass him on my way to work. 

I stayed home sick and never saw him.

Then he called and we arranged the date. I picked the movie. Because, of course.

Then, we're there. And THAT scene starts. He leans over and quietly asks "do you want to leave?" He's soooooo uncomfortable. Because, of course. I tell him "Oh no. I want to see this."

It's still going. He asks again. I pat his arm. "I'm fine." He's not fine.

The movie ends. I loved it. He's a wreck. Thinks he broke any chance with me.

He never had a chance. I was still in love with someone else. Because, of course.

https://letterboxd.com/journal/crushed-worst-movie-dates-valentines-day/

Wishing Star

 My New Year Wish is for everyone to get their wishes for the New Year. 

No matter how improbable, huge, selfish, tiny, redundant, crazy, lazy, or silly. I want everyone to find their bliss. 

Now, if your bliss is to be a whacko hurting humans and animals, I have nothing to do with that, and we're most likely not friends. So, no. No wishes for you. **not so fine print**

Somehow in this life, I have always maintained hope. Even when pain seems unending and it's just one more thing after one more thing, I never lose hope.

I have hope for us. Yes, all of us.

Driving Rain

 I was watching Hurricane coverage on The Weather Channel and while the broadcaster was outside on a street in Georgia slicked with rain, commenting how most of the town was shut down, a UPS truck passed behind her. 

I laughed at first, imagining frivolous Amazon purchases or other online orders hurriedly being delivered inside a hurricane. Then I smartened up and remembered that people get their meds delivered and other healthcare devices. These are important and possibly life saving, specially for elderly people and the disabled that will be affected with major power outages and road closures. 

These drivers deserve every bit of the raise they negotiated. Plus hazard pay.